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About Deviant Member Craig Gordon AKA FletcherMale/United Kingdom Groups :iconenclave-only: Enclave-Only
One Enclave! One America!
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A year ago when I started playing Star Trek Online I was just another grinder. Spending hours on end doing campaign missions and PvE's just to get something a few numbers better than the thing I had before. The eternal search for something better that forms most MMORPG's these days. It wasn't something that I would have kept going for this long.

But then I came across some Roleplayer's at DS9 and I was intrigued. So I joined a fleet who did it and dived in...and thus began a much more interesting and exciting exploration of STO. I found the RP of MMORPG. Sure it gets attacked by trollers like Dental and sure people look at us kinda odd but im a Furry....kinda used to it.

I have a lot of toons now. A Starfleet Commodore renowned for having a brilliant mind yet is far too young for his job and takes silly risks. A Gorn, giant lizard, called Rex, super intelligent and swarve. I have aliens, humans from other times but there is one character who seems to have a special place. He's called Raptor. Technically he's a Gorn, 9 feet of scales and muscle. Story wise hes from another time and another place. He's flirty, but can be charming. He likes a joke but knows how to be serious. He puts everyone else before himself and he'd risk everything for those he cares for.

But...when I think about it...that's everything I stand for.

See...one day Raptor walked into DS9's bar...one day...in one month...at one precise time...in one precise instance of ds9 out of 5...and me and him found someone who would alter ourselves. He's called Bore by most people. He plays a Romulan, one that has a bad reputation. But when I bumped into him...

You see...it was an instant thing...in just a week me and bore we're beyond friends. Raptor had a companion in his life. But...as time went on it started becoming more...the line between Raptor and myself...the line between Raptors feelings and my own became blurred. Something had clicked. Not just in my brain but in my heart aswell.
My flatmates laugh about it...they call it Dissociative Roleplaying Syndrome. The inability to tell whats real and not...more than that, the fact my Gorn keeps popping into my head at night talking to me...sounds fucked up I know but...I guess that's life.
Over 8 months have passed since I/Raptor met Bore...and...I cant imagine the last few months without him...but this has landed me with so many problems...and hurt for both of us...that is the human us...

So I ponder when is Roleplay not Roleplay anymore...where are the lines now? In my mind...they have gone. Its no longer Raptors words I write but my own...its no longer My life but Raptors...its all blurred together and....I like it. I enjoy it...more than that I love it...and I love him...he occupies a special place in my heart now...I know sometimes he is unsure of my feelings...probably thinks I use him...replace him with others when it suits but...I really don't. My heart and Raptors are the same...a single heart not two...and while I may not be a 9 foot hunk of scales, I know what I feel. This isn't Roleplay anymore...this is my life with him...because I cant be with him for real...not yet...maybe one day I don't know, the future is unwritten...

I don't know why I wrote this...maybe...I just want him to understand he means something massive to me...something I don't even understand myself. This isn't roleplay anymore...its life...and...for me and him to hit it off so amazingly...of all the millions that play the game...seems...destined rather than random.

Maybe it was...maybe it wasn't...but I do know that I wouldn't change it for the world.  

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bismark236
Craig Gordon AKA Fletcher
United Kingdom
Above is me

Current Residence: Leighton Buzzard, but also brighton
Relationship : best not ask really...
Favourite genre of music: D ont have one, but mostly listen to film and tv themes
Favourite photographer: Dont Have One
Favourite style of art: Dont Have one
Operating System: Prefer xp, but stuck with 7
MP3 player of choice: Any will do
Shell of choice: Any
Wallpaper of choice: ANYTHING WITH SCI FI ON IT
Skin of choice: none
Favourite cartoon character: Stewie, family guy
Personal Quote: Spray and Pray
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:iconborebuscus:
Thx for the Fav :P
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:icondirerain:
Direrain Feb 14, 2014  Hobbyist Interface Designer
My thanks for the watch!
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:icongunnut51:
Gunnut51 Feb 13, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
:icondevwatchplz:
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:iconviviax:
Viviax Aug 27, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fav. :)
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:iconbismark236:
Any artwork for Fallout England is liked hehe ^^
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:iconsonic34557:
One thing that is sad is i've done less than you and you write great story's but I have more pageview's and watcher's than you I now feel as if I don't deserve them you are much better than me at writing and other stuff so yea I feel really bad about a great writer like yourself ain't getting the view's and other stuff you should get.
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:iconbismark236:
well thatss nice of you to say, although im sure you're talents are obvious aswell dude, im sure im no better than any other writer here. It has upset me at times that i dont seem to have very many viewers or regular readers, but having two or three is enough for me. Although added advirtisment of my skills would be appreciated
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:iconsonic34557:
Yea that's true also are you going to add a group of enclave who join duxford?
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:iconbismark236:
im not sure. i dont want to use too much of the existing fallout games, at the moment im trying to lead it away, plus there was plenty on enclave in the London section. If the enclave do reappear it prob wont be untill a later Act, but dw, theres plenty of bad guys to come yet
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